Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Fat Lady Store

If you shop at a fat lady store does that mean you're fat? (That was retorical, please don't answer.)I am so tired of trying to find the one 14 that Gap stocks. Or the Large at Banana Republic, I hate that the cut of the clothing is for someone who is a size 2. Do we not know that what works on a 2 will not work on a 14 even if it will button or zip? I am also sick of having two choices: youth-I'm 35 and trying to wear stuff that my 7 year old has on, or women-I'm 80 and think sequin needs to be on everything including t-shirts. So I put myself on a mission... find some stuff that fits, and that is comfortable. Notice I have given up on looking good. You'd think that I could at least find the other two. Nope. For a country that has a lot of obese, over weight people we sure do have a ton of retail stores that don't carry ANYTHING for our GROWING public. (Pun intended)Here's a news flash; the reason the retail market is going into the toilet isn't because of the economy it's because size 2 girls are 14-16yrs old and they can't afford to buy 95$ jeans. I'm 35 and I can... but do you think I can find any? I practically begged for someone to take my money, but alas you can only get size 12 and 14 online. Do they know why? Because the 2 they stocked were bought in the first 10 minutes they were out! I finally decided I was going to a PLUS SIZE STORE. They carry size 12-really big mama. since when is 12 a plus size?
So I went down to Lane Bryant to do my buisiness. You see I much prefer buying clothing for my children. They never look fat in anything. Their crack never hangs out of "super low rise" jeans. (Who wears those anyway?!!!) They never have to unbutton the top button because of bloating. And finally they never need to wear 15 layers underneath to cover or uncover their large white panties. The last time I bought something for myself was at Sam's Club. If you are not familiar with Sam's or Costco please GET OFF MY BLOG. There were some stretchy skirts for a bargain so I bought one in each color. My sister-in-law said aren't you going to try them on? I said, "NOPE".

Anyway heres how it went. I tried on every pair of pants in the store (like 27) I think I finally know what size I am. Between not shopping, babies, and (GOd's gift to women like me) sweat pants, I had no clue what size I should even be looking at. I went to Lane Bryant and was I amazed at what great things they have. All the clothes in there were modest. I didn't have to think about what I could wear under anything to make it "work". The pants cover my large behind without showing 10 inches of crack. I can honestly say I have never been so pleasantly surprised at how many great choices I had...

SO to all you SKINNY girls. Hope that camisole, t-shirt, belly band, and belt work for you... Oh and by the way your G's are still hanging out.

I'm going to have a mint and chocolate chip milkshake so that I can still wear Lane Bryant clothes another day.