Seriously So Inspired

So I have really gotten into a blog called Seriously So Blessed. The author is Tamn and she is (perhaps) my idol. As most of you know I went to BYU, but I was not like most of the other girls who went to BYU. I refused to wear hairbows and bake cookies. I died my hair burgandy. (This was 15 years ago ladies). However, I ALWAYS, believed the church was true, and in so doing, I served faithfully in the callings I was asked to do, and volunteered to do a few extras. After waiting for several missionaries, I decided I wanted to go on a mission. So I did.

In the years that preceeded my mission, I was WILD. Not too wild, only wild enough to not be one of those frilly mormon girls. I wore Malboro t-shirts, I snuck my bikini into the pools. I listened to AC/DC and the Beastie Boys. It was so much fun. There were a few times when I got a little crazy with the wild and this is one of them.

At the rife old age of 19 I was hanging out with my friends in our apartment at the Riviera (THE RIV) and someone said, I think I want a tatoo. There was some assention in the group, so we DROVE to CALIFORNIA soon thereafter and got them. From the moment the first needle touched my unblemished white posterior I knew what I was doing was wrong... BUT I did it anyway. I will never understand what possesed me that day..but it wasn't good. So I marked myself. Not only did I mark myself, but I did it in rebellion. NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

Then came the guilt. The guilt of knowing. Knowedge is sometimes a terrible thing. So I felt this horrible weight all the time. Finally I decided to figure out what the H I was going to do. Either I was going to not feel guilty or I was going to get rid of the guilt one way or another I couldn't stand it anymore. So I did what I knew. I prayed. I prayed and I prayed. And I read the scriptures. One day I came across a passage in the BOM and it was about the Amlicites. They were sinning... not as bad as the Lamanites yet, but getting there. Then they MARKED their bodies with red to show their rebellion. (See ALMA 3:13-26)When I read that, I thought I was going to suffocate. I thought my throat closed so tight that I would die. That's exactly what I had done. In my desire to be different from all those other girls... I had marked my body (permanently) in rebellion with a small daisy flower. NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

So I repented. A lot. I cried and I prayed and I repented. And the most wonderful thing in my life happened. I recieved and answer to my prayers.

Fast forward two years. I have turned in my paperwork, and was called to the Chile Santiago West Mission. I went to the MTC, which was an experience in and of itself, and arrived in Chile. My trainer Hermana M was lovely and she took me to work. Then the next day we went to church. Sunday nights were P-Day Eve. All the elders and sisters got together in their zones to turn in their numbers for the week and we went. Hermana M had talked about our zone leader. She said he was (breathlessly) wonderful. When we arrived I knew I was in trouble. Elder J was someone who I knew from before. He had been shown my small mark of rebellion in a parking lot of Taco Bell. Bare body parts had seemed a lot funnier before. Anyway, he looked at me and couldn't place me. My hair was now in the sister missionary mode, and the long skirt and birkenstocks were very different than the sundress and bare bottom he had seen before. He said, "Do we know each other?" I said, "NO, I don't think so." LIE LIE LIE the spirit told me. He studies me carefully and then seems to forget. A rousing game of Uno sucks me in and I hope that my previous nakedness has been forgotten. But alas, it wasn't to be. About an hour later he stands from across the room and points at me. All the elders and my comp look at me. Elder J yells, "I DO KNOW YOU! WE USED TO CALL YOU BUNNY!" at that moment I knew it was all over. His eyes got wide when all the little cogs in his brain finally snapped into place. His mouth fell open and he wispered, "you have a tatoo." All the heads in the room slowly turned from his face to me. Then, 10 other mouths fell open too. Elder J said softly, "I know who you are." That's when the wild child caught up to me. First full day of the mish and I'm already outed.