NEW POST PLEASE

I know I'm sick of looking at this post too. I've been in a blog rut. With visions of sugar plums dancing in my head it's hard to concentrate on the other things that should get done. We're moving and trying to get Christmas done. Willow had her last day of school and the teacher threw her a surprise farewell party. I'll have to go through the pictures and post one later (she took the camera to school for the party!) Phoenix and Poppy had their last day of preschool too. They too had a party and I supplied cookies. We had the Ward Christmas Party and I (duh) volunteered my mom and I to make tamales for the whole ward. Then if that weren't enough I offered to make beans and rice too. Luckily enough someone else made the rice. You'll have to look at my moms blog to get the scoop on the tamales (Grandma G) she documented it. If I get a chance I'll put some pictures up.

My old BYU roomies have been coming out of the woodwork! It sure is fun to reconnect. We all turned out the same. MOms. Funny ha ha. I have a Masters in Education, Cookie has a Masters in Physical Therapy, Carrie and I went on missions, Amy and I both did Study Abroad. All of us graduated. And all of us have 4 kids that consume most of our lives! When I check out their blogs (except you, Cookie, who still lives in the stone age...) our lives are filled with raising our families. The bikini parties, flag stealing, spying, skinny dipping, hookie bobbin', didn't make us rotten moms it gave us something to look forward to. When I retire and my little ones leave the nest...
I'm gonna have a hobby.
I'm gonna have wild Rootbeer keggers.
I'm gonna rock out to AC^DC on an air guitar until I'm red in the face and pass out.
I'm gonna sleep all night long.
I'm gonna remember what it's like to listen at church.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom ALL BY MYSELF.
I'm gonna have hot dates with my man, and not go home to feed the baby or clean up barf.
I'm gonna go on cruises
I'm gonna take some classes, just for fun.

But for now we are all in this together, and I'm glad youre my villiage. (you know "it takes a villiage to raise a child...)

The Cougars Are Out They're on the way to Fame and GLory Part II

Picture it ...BYU. The Riviera Apartments late one Fall Evening. A celebration party is well underway. Capes are flying in the breeze and the phone rings. Amy answers the phone and her expression immediately reflects that ALL IS NOT WELL IN ZION. After a brief phone conversation, she hangs up, and her color goes from Nephite-white -and -delight- some to down right green. She says, that was Tad's dad and the Campus Police are at their house wanting to search the family station wagon for possible involvement in grand theft. Uh oh.

It seems a "concerned citizen" called with a tip and the license number of the car. Only in Provo are "citizens" this "concerned" with narcing each other off. Anyway, Tad was supposed to report to the MTC (yes for the 2 year mission) the NEXT day... so we could not have him in trouble with the law. Cougarageously, 4 of us decided that we would go down to the nearest campus station to give the flags back and to make things right. It seemed simple enough. Give the flag back apologize perhaps put the flag back in the spot where we found it and all was right with the world... OOOOOH NOOOOO.

We walked through the doorway and there was an officer (I don't think they are POST certified so they actually aren't officers, they are security)at a reception desk. He asked us what we needed and we said that we had taken these flags and that we would like to return them. NO joke, he literally jumped over the desk and told us to drop the flags and not to move. Then he called his superior security specialist ( I shall NOT refer to them as officers but as the SS from here on out. Do get the nuance of what I am saying?) The two SS HANDCUFFED us and put us each in our own cell! Apparently, I was armed with good looks and monkey climbing skills and totally dangerous. Then we were each interrogated individually by the SS. After that the SS allowed us our phone calls. I was too afraid to call home so I went last. The SS charged with GRAND THEFT because in Provo silk screened sheets cost upwards of 500 dollars. That's when the real punishment came. We each had to call our parents and explain the predicament. In addition we each had to pay for the flag. More than 500$ (which we did not get to keep). Since it wasn't the actual police that we turned ourselves in to we don't have records but that would be cool (kinda)Do you think I would be more of a bad-ass?

My dad was not thrilled with me. He only said a few words to me. No yelling, no swearing, no stomping, just this, "If you get kicked out of BYU don't come home." I knew he was serious. I could not be ex pulsed from his Alma mater without the family name being cursed. So when the SS said they could make it all go away if I took this deal, I jumped at it. The deal was: 100 hours of community service, and pay for the flag, and be counselled by STANDARDS, and, and, and, ... I agreed, willingly. It is only now years later I look back and think, what a bunch of overzealous anuses (anii, anos, bumholes, etc).

I served in the Adaptive Aquatics program (I actually did all my hours... trixie, cookie, candy cannot say the same). Every Tuesday and Thursday I held a child who was handicapped and swam with them in the pool. It was nice. I also met with Dr. Ward in the STANDARDS office. He counselled with me about how disappointed the UNIVERSITY was with me, every week for an hour and a half. I went and I pretended to listen, but his office was over run with these little bugs that were black and red (they kinda look like a cross between a spider and a grasshopper). There must have been hundreds and I watched them while he lectured me for a whole semester while I was on "probation". His hair was dark with no grey which was unusual because he had to have been in his 60's. He used some kind of grease in his hair to make it slick back. I think he must have used JUST FOR MEN to color it. The SS knew that there had been more students involved and desperately tried to get us to tattle on them but we really could not remember their names. Our Bishop was informed and the Elders Quorum President (my current boyfriend) was called in order to make sure the home teachers knew we were troubled souls. YOu know keep and eye on THOSE girlies. Ladies, I am here to say that a hot little climbers body and a little "naughty" goes a long way in the date department. It's not only girls who like a little danger in their partner men like it too. We were immediately the "Cool" apartment of chicks and none of us lacked for dates. Even the fuddy duddies who didn't join in on the fun.

Rise and Shout

Dedicated to Cookie who had to call her Uncle to bail her out.

Okay so I have been looking at these pictures for a month now. I haven't really felt like myself since I had the baby.... months ago. This (baby)time has been really hard physically and mentally so I haven't felt very funny. I wanted to wait till I could do this story justice. I can't wait any longer.....

Picture it BYU a "few" years ago (shut up I know that it was more than a "few" but nobody likes a smart-alec) I am a young, vibrant, devastatingly, intelligent, sophomore waiting for my missionary to come home and fulfill my destiny. It is Homecoming Week and all of us are excited about the football game the next day. We have season tickets luckily we got great seats for the game. While laying on my cinder-block stacked bed, listening to Faithfully by JOurney for the gazillionth time, my roomie comes in and says, "Wouldn't it be fun to wear a cape with a giant letter Y on it to the Football Game tomorrow?" HMMMM, I think, the possibilities are endless... face painting, pretend flying, oh what fun. I say "yep I'm in." Then she says that the flags that are flying around campus would be great. Just the right size to do the trick.I think yep she's right. Homecoming Week offered many possible targets. Do you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah any normal person would. They would know that where our little pea brains were going that night was not good, NOT GOOD at ALL. But away we went anyway. First we walked around campus and around town looking for the "best" flag to kaiph (k-i-f). The plan was to take a flag have our way with it and then return it the next night. Honestly none of us were going to keep the flag we knew THAT would be stealing. I was dating the Elders Quorum President and in the Relief Society Presidency at the time stealing was out of the question. The one I wanted to borrow was was the GIGANTIC one on the front of the Mazor building, but the girls thought that our sleuthing skilz weren't adequate to acquire that one. So we set our sights on one a little lower. It was on a telephone pole that was next to a tree on University Parkway. The poor flag never knew what hit him.

First we dressed up. Anyone knows that you have to get dressed appropriately. Dark colors so no one could see us in the dark. For later expeditions we progressed to camouflage, but I digress. And we needed equipment. Gloves to climb with and rope. NO rope so we tied some very fashionable belts together. That's me on the far left Bunny, Trixie, Candy, then Cookie. Code names for boys who we didn't want to be able to find us in the BYU directory for various reasons.
Once the flag had been located we stood around it looking up at it. I think there were about 8 in our group. NOt conspicuous at all. Then one by one we all tried to climb up the pole. I don't want to sound prideful but I was the only one who could do it. I guess it was all the pole dancing they taught us in those AP classes in high school. I shimmied right up that telephone pole and here's the proof. Those are my varsity soccer sweats from high school. I loved those sweats.
I think I was actually a love child from a Tongan prince that my mom met in the grocery store. That explains the easy climbing of trees and poles.
Then the celebration. Back at the homestead with Tad (he got one by standing on the hood of his car at a different location. He didn't want to be outdone by a girl.
The victory dinner at Hardee's. It was open the latest and had killer fry sauce. That's me to the far left again.
but wait the night is far from over.... I'll finish the post later. But here's a little hint I met Steve Young, Dr. Ward, and got handcuffed.

Finally the election is over. I can only imagine how the candidates feel. I am so sick of Prop 8 stuff! Sorry, I realize that there are lots of people who have lived, ate, and slept Prop 8 for the last several months and I say KUDOS. Thanks to your tireless work the Prop looks like it will win. I will be thrilled to have my email back, I will be thrilled to have lessons in RS again, and most of all I will be thrilled that (at least for a little while) Willow will stop asking questions about same sex- sex. Yeah, try and describe that one. NO picture today the possibilities could get me into trouble.

Halloween

Here's the Trick-or-treating gang. They were the best dressed bunch if I do say so myself. However, WORD TO THE WISE- it is NOT cheaper or easier or faster to make the costumes yourself.

Notice the Snow Queens icy gaze.

Cleopatra (NOw looking back it seems as if all that gold was real)

Hamburger (I bought this costume and did nothing to it $15.00)

lily apparently likes to eat grass, it makes her happy

Lily in a Halloween outfit not her costume (a packet of ketchup)

Girls Have EGGs like Chickens

Note: This may contain some adult chicken language and some chicken parts not suitable for young viewers. A special thanks to Prop 8 for the Chicken talk with my kids. FHE was a blast.

Today in the car with all 4 kids this was the conversation:

• Willow: Why do people steal the Prop 8 signs?



• Mom: They are frustrated that some people want to vote YES. When we vote YES what we are really voting for is that only boys and girls can get married... So two girls can't get married, and two boys can't get married. It hurts their feelings that we don't want that.



• Willow: Why can't they get married?



• MOm: The Prophet said only a boy and a girl should get married. Heavenly Father wants families with a Daddy, Mommy, and little kids.



• Willow: Heavenly Father won't give a baby to two girls that get married?



• Mom: Nope, it takes a boy and a girl to have a baby (Note Mom is becoming more and more uncomfortable with the direction of the converstation)



• Willow: That's why babies look like both their mommy and their daddy, like Lily. How does Heavenly Father decide what parts on the mommy and what parts on the daddy to make on the baby? How does the baby actually get in there?



• Poppy: (Yelled from the back seat) GIRLS HAVE EGGS LIKE CHICKENS

Talk about a sucker punch. I thought I was going to get whiplash my head swung around so fast. Since when did the birds and the bees include chickens? Since when did my 4 year old learn more than the 7 year old? Maybe I ought to rethink how I am going to talk about "IT" with my girls. I wonder how many other parents are explaining the virtues of PROP 8 with their children? After further questioning Poppy did not know that roosters have sperm. Yikes. I explained in Family Home Evening that girls do have eggs but they are very little and don't come out like chickens do. Poppy and Willow seemed relieved. I didn't see the need to point out that a baby comes out instead. We sang Chicken Families Can Be Together Forever to close our eventful FHE. Once again I deliver a most spiritual lesson.