Girls Have EGGs like Chickens

Note: This may contain some adult chicken language and some chicken parts not suitable for young viewers. A special thanks to Prop 8 for the Chicken talk with my kids. FHE was a blast.

Today in the car with all 4 kids this was the conversation:

• Willow: Why do people steal the Prop 8 signs?



• Mom: They are frustrated that some people want to vote YES. When we vote YES what we are really voting for is that only boys and girls can get married... So two girls can't get married, and two boys can't get married. It hurts their feelings that we don't want that.



• Willow: Why can't they get married?



• MOm: The Prophet said only a boy and a girl should get married. Heavenly Father wants families with a Daddy, Mommy, and little kids.



• Willow: Heavenly Father won't give a baby to two girls that get married?



• Mom: Nope, it takes a boy and a girl to have a baby (Note Mom is becoming more and more uncomfortable with the direction of the converstation)



• Willow: That's why babies look like both their mommy and their daddy, like Lily. How does Heavenly Father decide what parts on the mommy and what parts on the daddy to make on the baby? How does the baby actually get in there?



• Poppy: (Yelled from the back seat) GIRLS HAVE EGGS LIKE CHICKENS

Talk about a sucker punch. I thought I was going to get whiplash my head swung around so fast. Since when did the birds and the bees include chickens? Since when did my 4 year old learn more than the 7 year old? Maybe I ought to rethink how I am going to talk about "IT" with my girls. I wonder how many other parents are explaining the virtues of PROP 8 with their children? After further questioning Poppy did not know that roosters have sperm. Yikes. I explained in Family Home Evening that girls do have eggs but they are very little and don't come out like chickens do. Poppy and Willow seemed relieved. I didn't see the need to point out that a baby comes out instead. We sang Chicken Families Can Be Together Forever to close our eventful FHE. Once again I deliver a most spiritual lesson.

Aarows? What Aarows?

NOte the Prop 8 banner that Samuel is carrying. I think it just about sums up the climate in California right about now. It's time to rent our shirts and make our stands.
Yes, I know that this is Samuel the Lamanite and he did not rent his shirt, but Capitan MOroni did and he surely would vote YES for Prop 8. I tried to get Dave to "rent" his shirt for me this evening but he was too tired.

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

So I was looking through some blogs that I have bookmarked and this is one talented lady. She does dress give-aways and I look at them and admire her talent. This is NOT what my costumes look like. This is what I imagine my costumes to look like and then they come out looking.....well not like that.
When Dave and I get invited to a Halloween Party we dress up. We like it. Dressing up that is. We have some great cosutme ideas I think the funniest was when we were childless and I had long hair, we went as Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski. I wore a blue dress with a nasty "DNA stain" on it and a black beret. He wore a suit and a mask. It was the hit of the night. But for those of you who don't want to be that risque I have others. Anyway I want to be Marie Antionette and King HenryVIII and this is the dress I pictured in my head for me. Wish me luck winning it! Oh yeah, it's a child's dress but I can make Poppy wear it. She can be the Snow Queen any year!

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

I'm starting to get nasty emails again. That must mean it's time to update the blog. I've been getting a ton of Facebook stuff. I'm just not feeling the love. I'm also not feeling very funny lately. I found my BYU box. Dang I was funny. I was also footloose and fancy free. I'll post this weekend. I've got a draft going. Don't despair.

How are we all on costumes? I am making all but one of the kids costumes this year. Let me tell you, it is NOT cheaper to make them yourselves! Willow is going to be Cleaopatra, Poppy is going to be the Snow Queen, Phoeinx a hotdog or hamburger (he hasn't decided), and Lily is going to be a packet of ketchup. I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. If I were going to have a party... it would be a killer Annual Halloween Party. But since I don't have parties I guess you'll never know how cool it coulda been. You say Meliss why don't you have parties? Well I'll tell you why:

Picture it, Hemet about 4 years ago,(I miss the Golden Girls) my sister-in-law says lets have a party. I said, "sure" we can do it at my house. It was one of those parties where you go to buy stuff. You know the kind, we mormon women love to have them, where you go to buy something from someone else because they bought what you were selling. Pampered Chef, Southern Living, Cookie Lee, Layers, you name it we sell it. I made out the invitations, I sent out what seemed like a thousand, and I made the calls the day of. I cleaned my house. I STAYED home from teaching school that day to clean my house and set up. I made a spread of goodies to eat both savory and sweet. My sister in law invited her friends from work and we waited. The first hour passes and I thought oh everyone is late, the second hour passed and I thought did I put the wrong date on the invite? Then the third hour passed and I realized I was a looser. Soooo sad. I know you are laughing now and I know that most of you would say you are laughing with me and not at me, but it really wasn't funny. Therefore I avoid having parties. I haven't had anything here in Corona most of the ward hasn't even been in the house. I can count on my hand the number of people who have. Yep I'm a looser it's official.

Fat Lady Store

If you shop at a fat lady store does that mean you're fat? (That was retorical, please don't answer.)I am so tired of trying to find the one 14 that Gap stocks. Or the Large at Banana Republic, I hate that the cut of the clothing is for someone who is a size 2. Do we not know that what works on a 2 will not work on a 14 even if it will button or zip? I am also sick of having two choices: youth-I'm 35 and trying to wear stuff that my 7 year old has on, or women-I'm 80 and think sequin needs to be on everything including t-shirts. So I put myself on a mission... find some stuff that fits, and that is comfortable. Notice I have given up on looking good. You'd think that I could at least find the other two. Nope. For a country that has a lot of obese, over weight people we sure do have a ton of retail stores that don't carry ANYTHING for our GROWING public. (Pun intended)Here's a news flash; the reason the retail market is going into the toilet isn't because of the economy it's because size 2 girls are 14-16yrs old and they can't afford to buy 95$ jeans. I'm 35 and I can... but do you think I can find any? I practically begged for someone to take my money, but alas you can only get size 12 and 14 online. Do they know why? Because the 2 they stocked were bought in the first 10 minutes they were out! I finally decided I was going to a PLUS SIZE STORE. They carry size 12-really big mama. since when is 12 a plus size?
So I went down to Lane Bryant to do my buisiness. You see I much prefer buying clothing for my children. They never look fat in anything. Their crack never hangs out of "super low rise" jeans. (Who wears those anyway?!!!) They never have to unbutton the top button because of bloating. And finally they never need to wear 15 layers underneath to cover or uncover their large white panties. The last time I bought something for myself was at Sam's Club. If you are not familiar with Sam's or Costco please GET OFF MY BLOG. There were some stretchy skirts for a bargain so I bought one in each color. My sister-in-law said aren't you going to try them on? I said, "NOPE".

Anyway heres how it went. I tried on every pair of pants in the store (like 27) I think I finally know what size I am. Between not shopping, babies, and (GOd's gift to women like me) sweat pants, I had no clue what size I should even be looking at. I went to Lane Bryant and was I amazed at what great things they have. All the clothes in there were modest. I didn't have to think about what I could wear under anything to make it "work". The pants cover my large behind without showing 10 inches of crack. I can honestly say I have never been so pleasantly surprised at how many great choices I had...

SO to all you SKINNY girls. Hope that camisole, t-shirt, belly band, and belt work for you... Oh and by the way your G's are still hanging out.

I'm going to have a mint and chocolate chip milkshake so that I can still wear Lane Bryant clothes another day.

Theeeeey're Baaaaack

This is so pathetic. Only those who are VERY intimate with me know this fact. I love dolls. I always have. When I was a little girl I always had one with me. This love has carried on. I look at dolls online all the time, in fact I have a whole folder in "My Favorites" with just dolls in it. My aunt Ione makes porcelain dolls and I made a few. I have made vinyl dolls. Anyway long story longer I have been collecting the Madame Alexander dolls from McDonalds Happy Meals since they came out. I have them all and they are out again. Here they are.

Blah blah

I know that I have not put any interesting blogs up in a while. The family picture is cute but seeing it day after day gets annoying, I know. Here's the deal. I really haven't done anything interesting in the last little while. My kids are all home (off track) and bugging the crap outa me. My mom and dad are home... and Dave is working and resting. That leaves me doing the mom thing.
I have the funniest idea for a blog and I know that you all will peee in your large white panties when you read it, but I need some pictures in a college scrapbook. And well frankly I have no idea where that freakin' box is. It could be at the in-laws in our pile of junk in their garage or it could be hiding somewhere here in our junk. It could have even been canabalized by the other unfinished scrapbooks loaded in the bookshelf. Anyway I need to scan the pictures chronicalling (whatever&@$@!!&^%)the event. Here's a little tid bit. It involves costumes, BYU, the Provo/University police department, and my friend Dr. Ward. Intriguing isn't it? But until then you will have to stare at boring pictures of us.

Davey and Lily (Does this make you nervous or is it just me?)